March 12, 2004 (528 Days of Madness Left)
Care Level: 45 out of 100 Mood: Dirty Chief’s Mood: Pissed/Indecipherable
The Hate Maker
There is but one exception to Big Red’s Universal Circle of Hate Rule, being that hate cannot be either created nor destroyed, merely transferred. She has a name, and in this Era, she is called Christine. Many billions of dollars have been spent, and lives have been lost to determine actual reactor theory. These are all lies. Rickover was neither an engineer, nor politician, nor genius as he is commonly referred to. His true nature lies in voodoo. He was a voodoo priest from the Georgia Bayou, born and raised into their occult dealings. His power grew large over his circle of heathens until one day, he called upon the supreme voodoo ritual, The Dance of the Small Statured, meaning to increase his incredibly small and frail frame. After many moons of preparation, and hours of tireless work, the dawn had approached to incant his spell. In a grand gathering upon the most formal of events, Rickover muttered the final words to the incantation, but alas, the fire that burned before him fizzled, and then disappeared.
His inferiors mocked him. Peers laughed at him until he was finally stripped of all status that he once had. Humiliated by becoming an outcast, Rickover went into a period of research. After many years, he came upon a black book written in an ancient language he could hardly decipher. He finally did though and realized that this was the book with the original, darkest, and most powerful voodoo spell of them all … The Dance of the Small Statured. Reading more carefully, he realized where he had gone wrong. The last ingredient, the most important of all that he had forgotten before, was one human soul. Rickover was appalled. He could never recite the spell again without his peers to help him and this very thought slowly drove him insane. Boarding himself into his house, many years passed before he was ever seen again.
Inside his home, his thirst for the human soul grew. Insane as he already was, and drawing upon his extensive technical knowledge, he designed a machine to draw the human soul out of the body and store them. It was Rickover’s new compulsion; to suck the souls from as many people as possible to make up for the one soul he failed to have. His ingenious device even utilized some of the stored soul energy to power itself, making it into a perpetual soul stealer. The next step was determining how to distribute it to the public and let the soul stealing commence.
The perfect community for this device was where the people died quietly and forgotten, in United States Submarines. He used his political might to install his machine into all submarines under the secret code name of, “The Hate Maker.” To make sure the secret stayed just that way, no one was allowed into it’s compartment while it was in operation.
Unable to escape from the “reactor’s” soul leaching abilities, these poor submariners were forced to have their souls stolen from them slowly but surely. This process has been shortened with the recent development of Continuous Training Programs, and Audit and Surveillance Programs to weaken the submariner’s soul before it is stolen. This standard protocol, in fact, works so well, that excess soul inventory is used to power the shaft and under the charade of reactor theory, provide propulsion to the ship while still collecting enough souls for Rickover’s greedy needs
In order not to outright kill these submariners, the void created from the loss of their soul is replaced with hatred in the form of “gamma radiation,” or within the inner circle of nuclear power, “Hatred Radiation.” ELT’s are unknowingly designated to measure the amount of radiated hatred each person receives. Too much radiated hatred and too much soul at the same time will cause a person to pop like a hot dog in a microwave, hence the fate of the USS Thresher, who’s real disappearance has been shrouded in mystery ever since. Hatred conservation has been created for those who have a high hatred to soul ratio as well.
Nuzzled away in his own self content, Rickover is not dead, merely feasting off the largest soul inventory known to man, as illustrated by the 1997 copy of the Guinness Book of World Records, “World’s Largest Soul Stockpile,” where Bill Gates and Donald Trump came in second and third respectively. This copy was however in limited print, due to Rickover’s Shock Troopers storming the factory and burning every last copy. The few and rare copies left can now be purchased on Ebay, starting at $200 with no reserve.
